Words by Lee Barber, The Underground Venue Manager, Co-Producer of The Honey Box and Honey Box Hive project lead
‘The seeds of the scene are, in 2024, going to be laid down by such bands as Christian Music, as they bring shock and chaos and calamity onto the stage, and somehow find unique ways to stamp those wild sounds down into recordings. The vision of Christian Music however is not one of simply getting onto a stage and causing destruction; whether that actually happens or not is irrelevant, it’s merely one small part of the bigger picture we have as yet only been given a glimpse of.’
‘The sleeping giant that is Stoke’s music scene, it would appear, is going to be well and truly woken in 2024.’
As so it was written, all the way back in February 2024, by some sad little loser who, as it turns out, might just be right in his waking of the giant theory…
European Tribunal, the hard hitting, powerful statement of a record from Christian Music is a non-stop strike of noise precision, crammed with angst and frustration right from the opening notes of Christian Music F.C. to the ringing outro of VRS, as the fateful riff fades.
Construction, deconstruction, and reconstruction have seen Josh Baker, the mind behind the project, create the perfect concoction of musicians to create a seamless EP of energy. I had, in a previous review of the band’s release Marimba-Tragic Death Cult, hinted at Baker unwittingly becoming a vital part of the reigniting of Stoke’s post-Covid music community, and this release all but confirms such a statement, with the record dropping just weeks after huge local music events Your City and Lymelight Festival, and also Formal Sppeedwear’s EP and Camens’ official chart entering debut album.
Track three Feed The Monkey needs no introduction, and is something of a signature sound for Christian Music, the powerhouse riff looming over you throughout, the gritty vocals of Baker driving the verse with ease, the thump of a beat dragging you kicking and screaming down the street to a better world whether you vote for it or not.
The History Of Christian Music Pt. II, in just one minute and thirty eight seconds, highlights the pacy precision and musical hive of a mind that is the band, while Sell To Rent, opens with one simple message which tells you all you need to know about the politically charged Christian Music.
The final piece of the puzzle comes as a reimagining of an ancient classic of the band, and get ready for the rock concert because Chrisso Muso are going to be hitting it hard for this one. VRS brings all the energy you could ever hope for and instead of your lovely anthemic ending of a record you are gifted with the ultimate sacrifice, the religious offering only Christian Music could provide. The father, the son, the holy ghost, whatever religious pun you want to throw at it, however much denial you choose to live in, VRS is living proof that this band is not just playing games.
Christian Music are here, and they are here to make a difference. The sleeping giant that is Stoke’s music scene will not be woken gently, it will be thrown from its bed with the noise of Christian Music smashing down its ear drums.
The highly anticipated release comes alongside a seven-band thriller of an EP release show on Friday, June 7 at The Underground, Stoke-on-Trent.